heigh-ho, heigh-ho

I generally try to avoid writing about work. I don't like feeling work dominates my life, although that is probably closer to a reality for me than I would like to admit.

Regardless, it would be a complete lie to say work doesn't affect me. It dictates where I physically am from day to day, how tired I am, to some extent what I wear, and even what / where I eat. It's difficult to not seem like I'm complaining about it, but work often (although certainly not always) dominates my life.

I periodically wonder why I'm doing what I do, and whether it's worth it. I am rapidly approaching my 4-year anniversary with the company. FOUR years. I can hardly believe I have been out of college for that long, much less at one place of employment for that long.

Yes, I feel like I am still learning and I am challenged daily. Without a doubt, these things are of utmost importance. But it's hard to trump a few things. Regardless of a career path and the actual material of one's work, I feel like it's about the time spent being worth it - and to me that comes down to three factors:

1. Advancement: If there's no forward / upward mobility, no achievable professional goals within grasp, then what's the point?
2. Compensation: Let's be real. If the pay doesn't justify the hours, if the strains on personal life aren't outbalanced (or at least balanced) by benefits, then what's the point?
3. People: This can be debated, but at least for me, the people I work with impact my daily life and my personal state of being in a huge way. In fact, the people often make all of this worth it for me, trumping #1 and #2.

I guess all of this has been on my mind as I approach this anniversary - a stake in the ground that reminds me what I've been up to, how much of my life I have dedicated to it, and the unspoken question of how much longer I will stick around.

It's difficult to consider a new job and the associated new location, new surroundings, and new people, when a routine has been established, when relationships have grown, and when life already works the way it is. But when it comes down to it, I'd make life work regardless. There is no other option. And change is probably in order more often than not. So maybe it's time to face all the scary bits and think about what I really want.

The above #s 1, 2, and 3 can be found in a lot of places. It would be easiest for me to stay in Boston, particularly as I've put down roots here and the thought of moving again too soon makes me queasy.

As I've mulled over this in the past month or so, I had somewhat "decided" to stay for about another year. But that decision has left me still a little uneasy. Some things still aren't quite right, and I don't want to feel like I'm settling, just doing what's easiest.

Maybe it's time to push myself harder and step out of the comfortable cocoon I have made for myself here. I need to make a few (unreasonable?) requests and put things in motion to improve the quality of this life. This life needs change.

goodbye, october

The weeks just keep flying by. Nothing incredibly interesting has happened recently, but here goes regardless...
The periodontist cut up my mouth a week or so ago, resulting in my being drugged up and unable to eat until about two days ago. The pain didn't really hit until about six days after surgery, and actually brought me to tears which really surprised me and kinda freaked me out since I tend to have a higher pain threshold. The surgeon even told me I'd make the perfect wife because I handle pain well. (This was before the tears, and also made me wonder what marital horrors he's been through...)

I acquired another painting, which I have yet to mount. It was done by a lovely Brazilian artist, Camila, whose warmth and ease I quickly recognized and admired.

(The Orange Place by Camila Silva)

I discovered my first grey hair. Had me wonder how long that's actually been there, just hiding amidst the fakeblonde. I guess the good news is, my real hair is coming back. Oh, by the way, I'm growing it out.

Work brought me to Chicago last week, but between the pain and drugs I couldn't really eat anything, wine was out of the question, and it was depressing watching everyone play while I struggled to just stay awake. Through the haze, the highlights were the Museum of Science + Industry (particularly the Smart Home, which I found very inspiring for my own renovations) and Otom (their gnocchi was my first solid meal post-surgery, huge yum!).

(photos by J.B. Spector.. they didn't allow photography)

(otom, chicago)

It's Halloween and I haven't even had any candy today. Maybe it's time I ran to the store.

brr

Getting off the plane from Dallas on Friday was quite a shock. Went from mid-80s weather all week to mid-40s at night in Boston. Brr! Really not a fan of how we skip right over fall (and spring) here and pretty much go straight from summer to winter and back. Where did that in-between point go where I could go out in chunky sweaters and scarves?

Ran a bunch of errands this weekend. Really, just on Sunday because I was completely beat after Friday night shenanigans for Dinna's bday party. Picked up some seriously colorful cleaning appliances, a couple shoe racks (which make me SO happy), some new fancy hangers, and a painting.

(Twilight by EloiseXXX)

This large piece is a good start, but I will still be looking for a few additions. I still have to paint the trim in the living room and then may actually be ready to play with furniture layouts. Whee! It certainly helps that I'm actually in Boston this week, although working 12-hour days may not be too conducive to getting stuff done. Especially when work follows me home but I decide to post first instead.

howdy, y'all

While many of you were in bed Monday morning because it was Columbus Day / Canadian Thanksgiving / you are lazy, I was on a 6am flight to Dallas. Thank you, work.

But I really can't complain because the first two days here were kinda a paid vacation (although not what I would have picked on my own). I'm here doing a little bit of market research / consumer insights stuff for this project I'm on, so Monday and Tuesday were mostly "cultural safari", which is fancymarketingtalk for riding around Dallas in a limo bus checking stuff out, writing notes, and having profound thoughts. Not bad. Maybe I need to consider a career change.

Among many things work-related and not, I had an old-fashioned pharmacy-made lime freeze, had some crazygood jalapeno ranch popcorn, tasted many wines at Cork via a series of touchscreens which allow you to purchase a taste, glass or bottle (fun!), picked up some venezuelan fudge with rose petal jam and mahleeba (?!), and went to the Texas State Fair, which is apparently the largest state fair in the country, if not the world. Honestly, the fair was the least exciting for me, although the "corny dog" was really good. Was a little intimidated by the jalapeno cheese stuffed corny dog, which I slightly regret, although I'm sure my arteries thank me. I was also stuffed from a day of grazing, and chose to skip the fried beer, fried butter, fried pickles, fried s'mores.....

(dallas)

I'm really looking forward to American Thanksgiving, when the five of us will all actually be together in Baltimore. Christmas will be quite the different story, but I guess I can't always have it my way.

Also really excited for this weekend in Boston, as I feel like some progress is finally visible in the apartment. The living room is painted and the couch is moved in. I think I have some wall art and a rug picked out, so we might be getting civilized soon!

I need to find a way to dance more. And stretch.

furnishings

Finally have some furniture in the living room! It's scattered haphazardly all around me, so no photos for now, but soon!
Huge thanks to my pops who drove up with a bunch of wonderful stuff. And only to turn around and drive to NY tomorrow! What a trooper.

Also picked up a gorgeous red sectional which happens to be super comfortable. Love! I realized I've been on a red sofa streak (past three apartments), but I suppose there's no reason to stop now.

Super excited I'm only traveling two days this week, which means I should be able to make some significant progress on the home front. Hoping to pick up a painting and a dining table within the next week. Or maybe (more realistically) two weeks. We shall see...